The emphasis was on selflessness in lovemaking, gentle, harmonious passion leading to sublime spiritual delights. Karezza, Ethics of Marriage Index How to experience Karezza Karezza so consummates marriage that through the power of will, and loving thoughts, the crisis is not reached, but a complete control by both husband and wife is maintained throughout the entire relations, a conscious conservation of creative energy…. Under this law, Comstock pursued all those kkarezza, like Stockham, distributed any kind of material about reproductive health—even anatomy books could be kept from distribution by mail. Stockham advised that the sexual urge emanates from spirit, and that, far from being tainted, it is always a signal that a greater power is ready to be channeled into some noble endeavor. The group ultimately disbanded, since the idea of trousers seemed to present an insurmountable object.

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The common daily sarcasms of married people are at an end, the unseemly quarrels have no beginnings and the divorce courts are cheated of their records.

More than a century ago, a remarkable woman coined the term "Karezza" Italian for "caress" in her book, Karezza: Ethics of Marriage. Stockham was a Quaker born in on the American frontier, which, at that time, included her native Ohio. She grew up in a log cabin in close proximity to Native Americans, whom she regarded with respect. She became one of the first five US women doctors when she graduated from the only institute of higher learning in the West to admit women.

She married a doctor and they had two children. Although she was a general practitioner, she specialized in obstetrics and gynecology. Fifteen years before she wrote Karezza, she authored a popular text entitled, Tokology Greek for "Obstetrics". She boldly advocated sexual continence during pregnancy and to prevent pregnancy, which brought her into conflict with the authorities as it was illegal to promote birth control. She argued that the widespread belief that women should be legally forced to participate in ejaculatory sex - lest they go to any length to avoid the travails of childbirth - was nonsense.

Ultimately she founded her own publishing company to publish forward-thinking works. Stockham was a multi-faceted reformer. Inspired by the Swedes, she is credited with introducing workshop classes into American schools. In addition, she provided copies of Tokology to penniless women and former prostitutes to sell door-to-door to earn their livings including with each volume a certificate for a free gynecological exam at her clinic. She was very active in studying spirituality and the power of the mind, practiced homeopathy, believed in both the fatherhood and motherhood of God, was in favor of temperance, served as a trance medium, and was an active suffragette.

A passion for sacred sex However, her zeal for sacred sexuality is surely her most intriguing facet. Around the time the first tantra books were translated into English, Stockham traveled to India where she visited a matrilinial caste of hereditary warriors, allegedly of Brahmin descent, on the Malabar Coast. Known as "the free women of India," Nayar women were intelligent, well-educated, and all property descended through them.

They controlled the business interests and chose their own husbands. There she may have learned about tantra. While Tibetan and Indian tantra often cast women in the role of vehicle for men to use to raise their spiritual energy, Stockham insists that both men and women benefit from conserving and exchanging their sexual essence.

Karezza is strengthening and sustaining both to husband and wife, because it is virtually a union of the higher selves…. She writes that there are deeper purposes to our reproductive faculties than are generally understood. In the physical union of male and female there may be a soul communion giving not only supreme happiness, but in turn [leading] to soul growth and development.

Creative energy may be directed into building bodily tissue and permeating every cell with health and vigor, while also fueling the birth of non-physical offspring such as great inventions, humanitarian pursuits, and works of art. Stockham advised that the sexual urge emanates from spirit, and that, far from being tainted, it is always a signal that a greater power is ready to be channeled into some noble endeavor.

When so consecrated, sexual expression leads to the peace of increased internal strength and power. Because she believed that the sexual impulse, far from being evil or guilt-ridden, is the call of Spirit, she is sometimes cited as approving masturbation. Through love, training and self-control, partners can, by the union of the spiritual forces of their two souls, accomplish results greater than can be accomplished separately.

There is no limit to the power of true soul union. It specifically increases the gift of healing…. These powers are given through the act of copulation when it is the outgrowth of the expressions of love, and is at the same time completely under the control of the will.

By contrast, the ordinary hasty spasmodic method of cohabitation…is deleterious both physically and spiritually, and is frequently a cause of estrangement and separation. How to experience Karezza Karezza so consummates marriage that through the power of will, and loving thoughts, the crisis is not reached, but a complete control by both husband and wife is maintained throughout the entire relations, a conscious conservation of creative energy….

One writer called it Male Continence, but it is no more male than female…. According to Stockham, Karezza is a form of spiritual companionship.

Partners seek union and mutual soul development rather than fleeting passionate gratification. Yet it is apparent from her writing that the emphasis is on loving closeness, rather than denial of pleasure. Stockham suggests thoughtful preparation by means of reading and meditation. The reading should exalt the spirit, reminding one of the power and source of life.

And before or during union, she recommends that lovers consecrate their union with the following: We are living spiritual beings; our bodies symbolize soul union, and in closest contact each receives strength to be more to the other and more to all the world.

During a lengthy period of perfect control, the whole being of each is merged into the other, and an exquisite exaltation experienced. This may be accompanied by a quiet motion, entirely under subordination of the will, so that the thrill of passion for either may not go beyond a pleasurable exchange. Unless procreation is desired, let the final propagative orgasm be entirely avoided. With abundant time and mutual reciprocity the interchange becomes satisfactory and complete without emission or crisis.

In the course of an hour the physical tension subsides, the spiritual exaltation increases, and not uncommonly visions of a transcendent life are seen and consciousness of new powers experienced.

How often? The time and frequency of Karezza can be governed by no certain law. Experience, however, has proven that it is far more satisfactory to have at least an interval of two to four weeks [or even longer].

Stockham says that, the demand for physical expression is less frequent, for there is a deep soul union that is replete with satisfaction and is lasting…. She adds, be patient and determined; the reward will come in happy, united lives, in the finding of the kingdom of heaven in your own hearts. She assures the reader that those seeking the highest development will soon establish conditions appropriate for them. Benefits Stockham admits that for those to whom the Karezza idea is new, the first thought will be that it is impossible.

As a doctor, she patiently explains that the flow of semen is not essential to life or health, but that like tears, semen can remain "on tap" until summoned.

According to her, scores of married men and women attest that such self-control is perfectly and easily possible. And, indeed, some of the most inspiring parts of her book are the letters from satisfied practitioners, which she reproduces at the end.

Here is an excerpt from one written by a young husband, married for 4 years: I am a young man, 24 years of age, enjoying the most vigorous health. For two years after becoming engaged I delayed marriage, simply because I did not think my income sufficient to support a wife and the children which I regarded as an inevitable consequence.

The ideas contained in this discovery were so different from all my preconceived ideas of what constituted marital happiness, that I was inclined to reject them as utterly impracticable and absurd. But the more I thought of the matter the more clearly I saw that if there was a possibility of these new ideas being true, they were exactly adapted to a man in my circumstances, and that they made my marriage immediately practicable.

The wholly new thought that retaining the vital force within himself would naturally make a man stronger, clearer and better also seemed to me not irrational. With some misgivings, therefore, I determined to venture upon marriage, and it has been completely successful.

I have had a continuous honeymoon for four years. I have never been conscious of any irksome restraint or asceticism in my sexual experience; and my self-control and strength, mental and physical, have greatly increased since my marriage.

In the light of my own experience I regard the idea that the seminal fluid is a secretion that must be got rid of as being the most pernicious and fatal one that can possibly be taught to young people. Stockham reminds us that we are not mere machines, to be buffeted by circumstance and environment, but rather machinists with control of our creative forces.

Through knowledge we can recognize our unlimited resources and the ability to remove our self-made limitations. And at no time does this learned control serve [mankind] with more satisfaction than in the marital relation and in making possible the attainment of Karezza. By manifestation of tenderness and endearment, the husband may develop a response in the wife through her love nature, which thrills every fiber into action and radiates tonic to every nerve.

She sees Karezza as the antidote to the many hearts broken and hopes blasted mainly because the sexual relationship in marriage is instigated by selfish motives, and for personal gratification. In her view, marital unhappiness is caused chiefly by ignorance of the psycho-physiological laws governing sexual union.

Only when souls flowing together, acting as one, distinct in individuality, but united in their action are thus mated, are the psycho-physiological laws met and satisfied…. There can be no true marriage unless attraction, affinity and harmony first exist in the soul.

With the practice of Karezza, the selfish element is ruled out, and every consummation of passion becomes a true marriage sacrament.

Desire, directed wisely, enables one to experience an at-one-ment with universal principle itself. Yet Karezza diverged significantly from his ideas. For example, Noyes, who was gravely concerned with regulating pregnancy, recommended that men avoid orgasm but did not object to female orgasm. Moreover, the Oneida community practiced "complex marriage," in which exclusive relationships were discouraged as "idolatrous. Unlike Noyes, however, Stockham was a fan of monogamy.

In fact, the Church once burned or otherwise murdered half a million Christian Cathars in Southern France for suggesting that celibacy was a good idea in relationships. For some it was merely a method of birth control; for others it expressed spiritual love through control of the flesh. Or you may download a free reproduction.



Karezza was a name coined from the Italian for "caress" by Alice Bunker Stockham in the 19th century. Her view of spirituality was basically Quaker-Christian, and she fitted sacred sexuality into a Christian paradigm with no apparent difficulty. A well-travelled and well-read person who counted among her friends Leo Tolstoy and Havelock Ellis, she also visited Sweden and from her trips to schools there she brought back the idea of teaching children domestic crafts, thus single-handedly establishing shop and home economics classes in the United States. Stockham was a "reformer" in the true Victorian sense of the word.


Alice Bunker Stockham's "Karezza: Ethics of Marriage"

Allen gemeinsam ist, dass das Ziel der geschlechtlichen Vereinigung nicht der Orgasmus ist, sondern die sexuelle Energie auszutauschen, bewusst wahrzunehmen und in eine geistige Ekstase zu transformieren. Er unterschied den Geschlechtsakt in eine soziale und eine zeugende Funktion. Die soziale Funktion besteht in der Vertiefung der Liebe, eine innige Verbundenheit und eine intensive Herzverbindung. Von Ende des Es ist nicht einfach eine weitere Sexualpraktik zur Lustbefriedigung, sondern ein Weg, um gemeinsam neue Bewusstseinsebenen zu erreichen. Diese Struktur wiederholen Sie immer wieder, bis die Zeit vorbei ist.

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